He Is My Partner

When my husband and I got married almost 22 years ago, we were partners in this marriage.  We each give 100% to this partnership.  Over the years, I think that we both have felt like our partnership has slid a little with one of us making more of the decisions than both of us.  But together we learned that we are equals in this partnership.  In this weeks lesson we discussed "Who Is The Boss, Power Relationship in Families", which is part of a talk given by Richard B. Miller at a BYU Conference on Family Life.

One of the areas he covered was "The Marital Relationship Should Be A Partnership".  Healthy marriages consist of an equal partnership between a husband and a wife.  Many marital problems have as their root cause an unequal relationship or struggles over who has control in the relationship.  Decisions for the family need to be made together.  This will create a happy marriage when couple share their power and has a true partnership.

Husbands and wives are equal.  Pres Gordon B. Hinckley said "In the marriage companionship there is neither inferiority nor superiority.  A woman does not walk ahead of a man, neither does a man walk ahead of a woman.  They walk side by side as a son and daughter of God on an eternal journey".  This is a great quote from President Hinckley.  This is something that we have tried to instill in our children, their dad and I walk side by side.

Husbands and wives have different responsibilities, but they function as equal.  By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners (Declaration on the Family).  This is how I was raised.  My dad was the priesthood in our home and provided for us while my mom nurtured my siblings and I.  In the world today, things have changes some.  Some fathers are stay-at-home moms, while the wife provides for the family.  I am grateful for the priesthood my husband holds and for his providing for our family.

A husband's role as patriarch gives him the responsibility to serve his wife and family.  The First Presidency, comprised of Joseph F. Smith, Anthon H. Lund, and Charles W. Penrose, in February 1914 declared, “Priesthood is not given for the honor or aggrandizement of man, but for the ministry of service among those for whom the bearers of that sacred commission are called to labor” (Thomas S. Monson, Ensign, May 1996, p. 43).  As I watch my husband serve his family, I am grateful for the example his dad set for him.  This is so important for a husband to do, but as a wife, I need not abuse this.  

Husbands and wives work together as partners.  They [husbands and wives] should be one in harmony, respect, and mutual consideration. Neither should plan or follow an independent course of action. They should consult, pray, and decide together… Remember that neither the wife nor the husband is the slave of the other. Husbands and wives are equal partners, particularly Latter-day Saint husbands and wives (Marion G. Romney, Ensign, March 1978, pp. 2–4).  As my husband and I work together to raise our children, and we do it as equal partners.  

I love that as a couple we can let our children see us working together.  There has been times in our marriage when one of our children has come to each of us separately to ask if they could do something.  We learned early on to tell them "Let me talk it over with you dad (or mom) and we will let you know.  Taking that time to talk to each other has helped us come together as husband and wife.  Sometimes I may think that it is okay for one of our children to go skiing (for instance), but my husband may fill differently.  Considering his feelings on something like this is how we come together.  He is my husband, the love of my life and my partner.