Cherishing Your Spouse

This lesson could have not come at a better time for my husband and I.  We have been married for over 21 years and still have a few things to figure out.  So what a great opportunity it has been for us to read these chapters in Gottman's and Goddard's books this week.  Learning about the "Love Map" has been great. A Love Map is information that you have about your spouse, for instance, German chocolate cake with coconut pecan icing is my husbands favorite cake.   Even though we have been married for over 21 years, it is great to revisit our relationship and find our "Love Map".  As things change in a marriage and life, it is important to update your  Love Map.

As we answered questions about each other, we got most of them right.  That is a positive thing for our relationship.  We know each other's strengths and weaknesses, we know when each other needs a hug, or a few minute to ourselves.  We have not had a perfect marriage by any means, but this isn't a relationship that I am willing to give up on.

If we can take the time to see the positive things in our spouses and dwell on the negative things, our marriages will be stronger.  Dr. Gottman says "94 percent of the time, couples who put a positive spin on their marriage's history and their partner's character are likely to have a happy future as well.  When happy memories are distorted, it's a sign that the marriage needs help".  

Find that positive spin, that is so important to maintaining a good relationship and marriages.  Having admiration for your spouse is also so important.  As I sat across the table from my husband during another exercise, I was amazed at the admiration I have for this man.  He is my best friend, the one that I can tell my deep dark secrets too.   I look forward to doing more of these exercises with my husband and see how we can grow closer together.