My youngest brother was 13 when my mom died, which devastated him. He struggled with a lot of things, but eventually found a young woman that he loved. They were married in the temple and things were going well. Eighteen months after their marriage, she told him that she did not love him, and she didn't think she ever did. So here you have a man crushed by this new information, thankfully he had his family to help pick up the pieces. Not too many weeks later, he found out that she had a boyfriend for many months before their break-up and had found out she was pregnant. Because of some problem they had, my brother knew that it was not his child. This negatively affected any woman he dated after her. Thankfully a few years later he found his currant wife, they have 4 children and have been sealed in the temple. As I watched them date, I feel like they had a great friendship first. I think that being friends first is so important. My husband is my best friend!! In a marriage we need to be "Others-centered" and not self-centered. Dating and marrying your best friend will help become more giving to others and no self-centered.
As interesting and informative as Gottman's book was, we really enjoyed reading "Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage". It was so nice to feel the spirit as we read about Heavenly Father getting us ready to come to earth. For me, chapter 1 was so good. I could not put the book down. Toward the end of the chapter, it says "Success in marriage is much like the healing at Bethesda". The invalid waited by the pool to be healed by the magic waters, but it was actually Jesus who healed him. Many of us wait by the pool to heal our marriages, but it takes Jesus Christ to help heal our marriages.As we have learned in other lessons, their is three in a marriage. The husband, wife and Jesus Christ.
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